UNC wanted to have him, William and Mary got him.

Obviously, because William and Mary was willing to go the extra mile and give him a PhD, Jon Stewart spoke at their graduation.

Or maybe it’s because he’s an alumnoid.

Still, “here’s his commencement speech”:http://web.wm.edu/news/index.php?id=3650.

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Michael Alan Dorman

Yogi, brigand, programmer, thief, musician, Republican, cook. I leave it to you figure out which ones are accurate.