No, really, I don’t get out much

I had never heard of “GoogleBombing”: before. But it seems like an amusing pasttime, and as Ted at Crooked Timber “said”:, well, “Ninja”:

I have a book

…the title of which is ??Queen Elizabeth I??. Originally published in 1934, the frontspiece–at least, that’s what I think it is, I don’t pretend to be excessively familiar with book anatomy–has the note:

bq. A new hardcover edition appeared in Britain in 1952 when the title was changed to _Queen Elizabeth I_

This is, of course, because 1952 was when QE II assumed the throne.

It turns out (and this has been an awfully long setup for what it probably going to be a somewhat disappointing link) they needn’t have bothered since “neither of them should ever have been queen”:

Ah, royalty.

Ken MacLeod on Beagle 2

bq. The apparent loss of Beagle 2 doesn’t mean the end of British attempts to reach Mars. The Brits, after all, owe it to themselves to make the chaps with the heat-rays and tentacles sorry they ever heard of Woking.

Christmas for Spammers

Ken McLeod has an update on the classic carol, “The Twelve Days Of Christmas”:

Yeah, sure…

“Blender gets raytracing”:, blah, blah, blah. I just think these are the coolest sample images I’ve ever seen: “monkey1”:, “monkey2”:

Yeah, well, fuqueue!

Let me first note that I have the greatest respect for the gigantic volumes of people who work on the linux kernel, and communicate on a daily basis using a technical vocabulary in what is *at least* their second language.

Hell, Linus’ command of idiomatic english is actuall pretty goddamn scary, and has been as far back as I can remember.

None of which makes this less funny.

bc.. Date: Thu, 11 Dec 2003 17:30:31 -0600
From: Matt Mackall <>
Subject: Re: [RFC/PATCH] FUSYN 5/10: kernel fuqueues

On Wed, Dec 03, 2003 at 12:51:34AM -0800, wrote:
> include/linux/fuqueue.h | 451 ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
> include/linux/plist.h | 197 ++++++++++++++++++++
> kernel/fuqueue.c | 220 +++++++++++++++++++++++
> 3 files changed, 868 insertions(+)
> +++ linux/include/linux/fuqueue.h Wed Nov 19 16:42:50 2003

I don’t suppose you’ve run this feature name past anyone in marketting
or PR?

Matt Mackall : : Linux development and consulting

So, how old is your drink of choice?

At least in the hard liquor world, my alcohol of choice–gin–is a mere 353 years old. Amusingly, a google search for ??franciscus la boie gin?? will find, among other things “an annotation from Pynchon’s ??Gravity’s Rainbow??”: (look under “oude genever”).

I know I don’t drink as much of it as Russians do vodka, which “celebrates its 500th anniversary”:

b5. From Jerry, the source of all strange things

I’ll just note…

that the Boston club–the Paradise–referenced in “this Onion story”: is where I saw Concrete Blonde play in 1993 in the middle of a blizzard.

Apparently all the rage…


However, the link on “Miscellaneous Heathen”: is to a copy (that, in fact, seems to have had the proverbial serial numbers filed off, insofar as I don’t think it had a link).

The original is from “Weebl”:, where you can get t-shirts, music and “Lard Man”:, which hasn’t actually, er, “Loaderised” yet.

Old parody…

I was on BIX for a year or two in ’90/’91, but somehow never came across “this gem”:

A new variation on the Nigerian scam.

Yes, I actually recieved this in my email:

bc.. Return-Path:
Received: from ( [])
by (Cyrus v2.1.9-Debian2.1.9-4) with LMTP; Sun, 27 Jul 2003 04:11:09 -0500
X-Sieve: CMU Sieve 2.2
Received: from ( [])
by (Postfix) with ESMTP id 8AE0A4073
for ; Sun, 27 Jul 2003 04:11:09 -0500 (CDT)
Received: from localhost.localdomain (localhost [])
by (Postfix) with ESMTP id 2CA2016752B
; Sun, 27 Jul 2003 04:11:09 -0500 (CDT)
Received: from XLC (unknown [])
by (Postfix) with SMTP id 401FA167527
; Sun, 27 Jul 2003 04:11:06 -0500 (CDT)
Received: from [] by XLC id <6646972-43206>; Sun, 27 Jul 2003 08:03:57 -0500
From: “”
Subject: DWG Needed bb
Date: Sun, 27 Jul 03 08:03:57 GMT
X-Priority: 3
X-MSMail-Priority: Normal
X-Mailer: QUALCOMM Windows Eudora Version 5.1
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: multipart/alternative;

This is a multi-part message in MIME format.
Content-Type: text/plain
Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable


I’m a time traveler stuck here in 2003. Upon arriving here my dimensional =
warp generator stopped working. I trusted a company here by the name of LL=
C Lasers to repair my Generation 3 52 4350A watch unit, and they fled on m=
e. I am going to need a new DWG unit, prefereably the rechargeable AMD w=
rist watch model with the GRC79 induction motor, four I80200 warp stabiliz=
ers, 512GB of SRAM and the menu driven GUI with front panel XID display.
I will take whatever model you have in stock, as long as its received cert=
ification for being safe on carbon based life forms.

In terms of payment:

I dont have any Galactic Credits left. Payment can be made in platinum gol=
d or 2003 currency upon safe delivery of unit. Please transport unit in ei=
ther a brown paper bag or box to below coordinates on Sunday July 27th at =
(exactly 3:00pm) Eastern Stand Time. If you miss this timeframe please ema=
il me.

42.4845467 & Longitude -71.1576157 and the ground is 101.3′ above sea leve=

Although those coordinates are a secure guarded area, these channels throu=
gh email are never secure. Unfortunately it is the only form of communicat=
ion I have right now. There is a good chance that sombody will try to redi=
rect the signal. The unit must be teleported directly in a way
that nobody will be able to interfere with the transference.
After unit has been sent please email me at:
with payment instructions. Do not reply directly back to this email.
Thank You
zshvpth u e
fokyg exitfzu mwoqufm



A dangerous sounding game…

Jon Carroll (who you should be reading) passes along an “interesting corporate alternative to bingo”:

Seen in TurboTax’ context-sensitive help.

bq.. Do not use this form to report:
* …
* Illegal Kickbacks
* …

p. So, is it a subtle joke from a writer, or is it one of those warnings that springs from a lawsuit? “Your honor, they only caught me because TurboTax did not specify that I was not to report my Illegal Kickbacks on Schedule C!”