OK, so the single best reason to analyze ones weblog access logs is not to find out how many people are hitting your site or any shit like that–although I have to admit to a certain bafflement at how many hits I get, even if you carve out bloglines.com’s constant polling.
No, the best reason to analyse ones access logs is to see the absolutely hilarious searches that people follow to your site. I’ve mentioned “milla jovovich naked” before–I don’t think the person using that got what they wanted, “since it was a result of me bashing ??Resident Evil??”:/2004/09/dinner-rush.html. Anne and I spent a few minutes a week or so ago lauging about some.
You must see where this is going…
I can’t say how amused I was to find the all-time-best-search today: Live Sex Chet.
Chet, of course, demanded that I make it the headline, which I’ve agreed to do for a day or two.
I have to say, there’s an awful lot of other amusing ones, and some that I just don’t understand how they got to me:
* gas treatment dupont (no frigging idea)
* kernels that stick in your teeth (err, linux + new Nine Inch Nails album?)
* free porn that you can watch for free (no idea)
* a boy bow down to his parents (the old title, bet this wasn’t what they expected)
* all sorts of warts (no idea, don’t want to think about it)
* dogs fuck women novels (whoa, where’d that come from!)
* naked librians (yeah!)
* wachowski brothers and sex change (v for vendetta and…uh…)
* how to tell someone you hate them (I’m kinda amused, but baffled)
* get out of this shitty marriage (this kinda makes me sad)
* how to give a lap dance (u2 + who knows)
